While Marya McFadden is an attorney, when she works for you as a mediator, she does not represent either party as their advocate. Instead, she helps both parties understand what issues need to be resolved and what their legal options are, and then she helps them negotiate in a civil way to arrive at an agreement.
Ninety percent of people who choose to mediate DO reach an agreement, even those who enter the process in very high conflict. Even if you do not reach an agreement on everything, chances are you will agree on some matters, so it will save you the time and money of litigating those issues. And in the rare case that you do not reach an agreement, you can always go to court. Because mediation is relatively inexpensive, you have little to lose and much to gain by trying it first.
Mediation is an individualized process. How long it takes will depend upon how many issues the parties disagree on and how long it takes them to reach a meeting of the minds. Some people can resolve their differences in one mediation session. Typically, it takes about three sessions to complete a divorce if there are children and property involved. Sometimes, it may take longer. Sessions can be as long as the parties and the mediator are willing to continue the process; 2-3 hours is average.
The State of California wants people to work things out outside of court in mediation, so it protects you by ensuring that anything you discuss in mediation is 100% confidential and cannot be used against you later in court should you end up in litigation. That confidentiality encourages people to communicate openly and honestly in mediation, and to be willing to discuss and consider ALL their options without worrying that anything will later be used against them or “weaken” their legal position.
Once you reach an agreement in mediation, whether it’s a complete divorce agreement (which is called a Marital Settlement Agreement), a child custody and visitation order, or a modification of an existing child or spousal support order, your mediator prepares all the necessary legal documents for you to sign and then files them with the court for a judge to sign, so that you end up with the same legally binding court orders as if you had gone to court–but you never have to.